Being From Jersey Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

[it says #303 lol]
Being From Jersey Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry -2/17/09
I walked out of the shower today at 11:11pm and I think everything hit me. Even though the speaker was not born in New Jersey, I think he provides some great insight. I know too well that that saying is very true. Spoken from a true New Jersian, I know I have a bad mouth and never forgive and forget. I hold grudges and I am very stubborn, something rooting from my German heritage. I also don't have the greatest temper which stems from a very Irish family and also, the New Jersey way of life. We say what we mean here and don't really give a crap about the consequences. Maybe, I don't know about every one else, but I know that I, might have something to learn. Like I said, I never forgive and forget. I might forgive, but I never forget. I try to put it past me but I really can't. I hold on to everything that has happened and if that makes me a bad person, so be it. I've learned to come to terms with this and I've decided I need to speak my mind a lot more. By holing everything up inside, I can't deal properly with anything. People need to hear my side of the story more
often and not by other people's word of mouth. This means for me to become more outgoing. I'd love for this to happen but I honestly don't know if I can. Things are stressful and sometime I just want to get away from it all. Move to the mountains and just stay away from civilization for a while. Take a retreat away from the stresses of everything and just be alone. I feel as if sometimes I can't actually do what I really want to do, everything that has to be done is for a purpose, let it be, SAT's, ACT's, HSPA's, College, or just "the real world," and it kills me. People say to enjoy your childhood but when it seems to be taken away from you, how can you really? But, I have digressed away from my point. I think, this year, with everything going on, wordly and community based, it is time for a change. That seems to be the word used most often nowadays. Change. I need change, and I am finally ready to admit it I think. Maybe it won't be the change I am really looking for, but I'm hoping it can buy me some relief and a different way of thinking. Maybe this year will bring interesting events. I'm hoping for a change of life for me. Maybe, some day, I'll be able to forgive and actually forget. Maybe I will be able to say "I'm sorry" while meaning it. Maybe, that day will come soon. For my sake, I hope it comes soon.