Vacation Away

this is in reverse order but i'm too lazy to fix it.
plus it's not from the whole trip but w/e
chicago is after barrington.
maybe i'll upload those tomorrow..er, today.

<3

Baby We Could Rock The Night Alone

I got back from my 10 state, 11 day roadtrip vacation with my family yesterday.
I was actually very fun. :)
Today I spent working on college applications.
I kind of want to grow up.


Uploading pictures later.

<3

Sooo

Warped Tour was two days ago.
The day was pretty much perfect, little went wrong.

The day in a nutshell:
-got there a little after 8am
-called Nate
-got in early
-hung up posters
-talked to Alex Gaskarth
-hung out with versaemerge
-made signs
-walked around with different sign
-hung out with versa
-saw the maine
-hung out
-saw anti-flag, less than jake, bad religion, and underoath
-versa signing
-saw madina lake and versa
-hung out at fbr table
-closed up
-saw all time low and a day to remember
-took an hour getting out of the parking lot
-went to mcdonalds
-got home
-bed


here are some pictures:

guess who's back.

so I used unproductive sleep efforts to restart my facebook.
let's see how it goes.

maybe I'll even get my Bamboozle videos on YouTube today.
-wishful thinking-


I caught the Kids video on MTV2 today but since there is no legal embedding from dear YouTube, I won't. So here's Electric Feel instead.




Santi.

I'm Bad.

Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett died today.

It's going to be weird thinking back on this when I'm old, explaining this to my children. It's going to be weird how they won't know who they are and I'll have to explain to them how influential they were. It's weird that young kids now don't know who Michael Jackson was. I found him the more widely known of the two.
Driving home today they were playing Michael Jackson on a lot of radio stations.
It's still just surreal. The King of Pop is gone.

<3

wow.

hahaha sixth grade, I miss those days.
some funny people signed that page.
:) :O <3
looking back on the past freaks me out. I keep thinking about the future and how fast everything's moving. I'm just afraid I won't be able to do everything I want to do before I can't do it anymore.


Santi.

the end is near.

My last day of Spanish was today.
I will never have to take it for the rest of life.
It's kind of weird to think that.
Tomorrow will be my last day of History/Science too.
Wow. We're all really growing up.
It's actually happening.

It's a little bit scary.

new?

I heart anyone who reads this crap.
:)

I had a pretty decent day considering I woke up feeling like crap.


-words-

HSALF

I want to go out and take pictures again.
Want to go to the city with me?

sen10r year is fast approachin'

which one?

99

I've been kind of a good student lately.
Doing work a day before it's due is my usual method but recently I've been working ahead of time.

I'm on a little Kanye/Lil Wayne kick.



Night everyone.
<3


[[Thriller/So Far Gone-Danger Radio]]
-Stone Pony
-6/20/08
<3

----------------
Now playing: Kanye West - Amazing (Feat. Young Jeezy)
via FoxyTunes

sgkjwrhgujehrbvikhnwrfkgjvbeejarhgvaeiuvbnerg

I'm so tired of this year already.
I have an early case of senioritis which is in no way beneficial when I have pre-calculus and physics finals in the next week. I have to write a reflection essay on what I learned in my AP English class to get a recommendation. I know what I have to write, but I'm not sure how to write it. UGH.
I also have to start getting serious. Mainly by finding a college, finding a major, retaking the ACT's, retaking the SAT's, doing AP course work over the summer, visiting colleges over the summer, applying for scholarships, asking for recommendations, learning how to spell "recommendations," and just overall passing junior year without dropping down to 30th in the class. Sounds easy enough.



[[Danger Radio-Kiss N Tell]]
-Stone Pony
-June of 2007

my ginger.

I love my ginger.
He makes me smile.

Ugh

History final essay tomorrow.
It's kind of depressing seeing that it is signaling the end of our school year. This means I'll be a senior soon and this time next year I will be getting ready to graduate and head of to college, to the rest of my life.
It gets me so nostalgic.
I'm going to miss high school.

oh and the stuff I have been posting is a little story I'm writing.
Leave some thoughts.
:)

3

Sam dragged the hesitant Caleb down the empty street; his thin frame was tense, apprehensive of where his friend was leading him. His dark hair fell over his eyes as Sam pulled harder, pulling him faster behind her, her brown eyes shimmering, excitement glowing. Caleb was almost used to this. Sam had always acted compulsively. If she could guess or wander through life, she would be perfectly okay.

A cold breeze shook Caleb’s thoughts from his head.

“I wish I had brought a hoodie.”

The faint echo of an early morning bird’s call sounded through Sam’s ears.

“Come on, Caleb,” she frustratingly beckoned.

Caleb sped up to fall in stride beside her. The sun was just starting to peek over the lonely clouds. The sky was a dark navy, paired with a lighter blue as it stretched to the horizon.

Just as the sun started to lift itself higher, Sam led Caleb into the small wooded area off to the left of the street. The branches grabbed at their ankles but their steps persevered. The newly established sun was dampened by the trees. Caleb dared not ask where they were going, he already knew. They were going Nowhere. They always went Nowhere. Nowhere was the place where they could be together and be immune from the world’s problems, their problems.

Sam slowed to a stop as the clearing approached. The sun filtered through the apertures in the green covering. The ground was barren, ready to begin growth, with a fallen tree hanging gently, hovering, just over the dirt floor. Sam journeyed over to the fallen structure. Swiftly lifting her small frame onto the tree, she took a breath and looked around. Caleb savored the warm sunlight on his arms. He loved Nowhere.

No one spoke. The sound of silence rang through their heads. No one dared spoil the serenity of Nowhere.

A small chipmunk rustled through the brush, into the clearing. The sudden disturbance startled Sam, the action knocking her off balance and onto the hard ground.

Caleb laughed at her.

“Shut up Caleb,” she scolded, cursing him under her breath.

“You love it,” Caleb told her, smiling wide and crossing his arms.

“I don’t,” Sam disagreed, standing up and brushing herself off.

“Oh, but you love me,” Caleb countered.

“Lies. I don’t love you,” Sam turned away smiling.

Caleb didn’t speak. Sam stood with her back turned, eyes fixed on the distant tree that protruded into the missing sunlight.

She suddenly felt a warm touch around her waist, a familiar breath on her neck/
“You love me now?” Caleb whispered, his hands intertwined around the front of her waist, resting softly on her white belt.

Sam felt that flutter in her stomach. The all too familiar feeling she always got with Caleb when they went to Nowhere. She knew what it meant. She knew what it meant.

“Maybe,” was all she could understandably mumble.

Caleb laughed, “Maybe huh? Only, maybe?”

“Mhm,” Sam whispered, her eyes shutting, leaving Caleb’s body to support her body weight.

Caleb lifted his head, placing his chin on the top of her head, he smiled. He loved Nowhere.

...continued

They had been best friends forever, before the drama, before the pain, before the tears. They shared preschool toys as their moms talked of how they would get married one day. They were too young and innocent. They went to school together. They went to the mall together. They went to dances together. They got their licenses together. Although their interests differed as they aged, they stayed the same. No secrets were hid; their hearts open books, only to each other. Practically blood related, she could never live without him. He loved her. They were too young and innocent.

Sam only patted the cooling ground beside her. Her eyes never fluttered, her lips never faltered. He lowered himself down onto the rocky street beside her; her warmth comforted his side as he lay down next to her.

“Don’t you miss the way things used to be?” Sam questioned a moment later.

He only shrugged.

Sam sat up and smiled her huge, glowing smile. Her eyes beckoned him to follow.

“Come on Caleb, I miss our adventures.”

I think I'm ready

[[Danger Radio-Slow Dance With A Stranger]]
-June, 2008
-Stone Pony, Asbury Park



I think I'm ready to start this again.

Samantha slipped quietly out of the booming house. The music was too loud, the people were too drunk, the scene was too familiar. Samantha fumbled through her pockets for her car keys, only to remember they were comfortably sitting on the kitchen counter of a person who is friends with her friend. Samantha sighed to herself and just decided to walk, she didn't want to go back inside. Samantha slowly scuffed her feet to the rhythm of her heartbeats to pass the time. She thought about people, she thought about places, she thought about things, she thought about about how much she hated when people called her Samantha.

Sam had always been called Sam. Her mother started calling her that when Sam was only a month old; this bouncy newborn never seemed like a Samantha, her mother said. Her mother called her Sam to the day she died. Even in the cold, bleak hospital bed, the mattress groaning, ready to give in with every movement, Sam's mother called to her, talked to her, calling her Sam and nothing else.

Sam's dad, on the other hand, never called her Sam. She had been lucky he spoke to her at all. He was never one for conversations. After Sam's mother died, her dad stayed to himself, blaming Sam, like he did for everything. He cooped himself up in his musty study and hibernated there for eternity. Sam never really saw him after that day. She was seven.

Her foot caught a small pebble and sent it flying into the th, warm air. Sam gazed into the starless sky. She wondered where the stars went sometimes. It's like they're hiding from me, she always thought, only appearing for those who deserved them. A cool breeze whipped down the calm street. It was after midnight. Sam had lost track of time; she never really kept track of anything. School just happened, work just happened, friends just happened, life, just happened. At this moment, Sam had wished she had remembered to grab her hoodie. She missed the warmth.

Sam rubbed her arms gingerly and kept onward. She figured maybe someone would drive by this lonesome street at whatever time it was and find her and pick her up. Maybe, she thought, someone would kidnap her and force someone to care. She sighed at the thought. Tucking a piece of her long brown hair behind her ear, she crossed her arms and looked down the street. No cars where coming. Sam took the opportunity to walk in the street. Sam put her face toward the sky and closed her eyes. Imagining. Wishing. Hoping. Sam stopped walking. Stopped imagining. Stopped wishing. Stopped hoping. Sam sat, then lied down, spread eagle, on the warm gravel of this recently abandoned New York street. She let the cool breeze ripple through her. Her hair blew in the wind. Her eyes never opening. The warmth from the August road sifted through her back as the cool wind crept slowly into her stomach. Sam tried to block the feelings, the thoughts, the regrets.

"Sam?"

Sorry

I have no inspiration anymore.

I've Got Your Picture, I'm Coming With You

^^ funny story about that if you'd care to know...

anywho, day one of the HSPA's is done :)
REJOICE!

Today, work was...interesting. Firstly, there is a door to get into the office and then the cash office at work which of course requires a key. Tonight's MOD, Debbie,tried to open the troublesome door and ended up getting the key stuck. Krissy, a framer, and I of course went over to laugh at, erm, HELP her get the key out. It wouldn't budge. We were attacking it for about ten minutes before I suggested we use the cooking spray in the next aisle which we did and proceeded to grease the whole door knob. Then I proceeded to whack the doorknob with cellophane which, combined with Krissy yanking on the doorknob, resulted in the key turning and then the door opening and us like peeing our pants with laughter. I guess you had to be there.
Then, Debbie told us to let the cop in when he gets here. I asked why would a cop be coming to Michael's and she said because they caught shoplifters. So, when the cop came [he was kind of cute btw], we let him in and he came in with this huge garbage bag of things. We sorted through it, looking at what they stole [most of it was so dumb] and he told us what they looked like and how they also hit AC Moore, Burlington Coat Factory and they tried to shoplift liquor at a liquor store which is where they were caught. They took around $180 or $300 (idr) worth of stuff from us which isn't bad considering they took around 735 things from AC Moore. All in all, they stole around $4,000. So, once we rang up everything, we had to give him the total and fill out paperwork and then finish counting down our drawers and putting away stuff and by the time we left the store, it was almost a half hour past the time we usually leave.

Fun Times.


[[Dear Maria, Count Me In-All Time Low]]
-circa 2007
-warped tour
-Jack likes to lurk the background of my videos
-Alex's smile makes me smile

I Came Here To Kick Some Ass Tonight

Yesterday:

nothing really happened yesterday except we went to school with a delayed opening because of snow and did like nothing in each class. I went to bed super early [around 10pm] and actually heard my alarm this morning. Maybe I should do that more often.
Oh, on the bus ride into school yesterday, the 50min I spent on the stupid thing, I spent my time zoning out and staring out the window. Do you ever notice that when it snows, there always ends up being that crappy snow, the ugly brown stuff on the side of the road that sort of takes away the beauty of it all with one glance? I guess that's kind of like the world. You have the pure, clean snow on the grass and front yards of houses but then the kids come out and frolic through it or the plow comes and plows the ugly brown crap to the side of the road and corrupts it.
< /rant>




[[Guilty Pleasure-Cobra Starship]]
-10/26/07
-Uber shaky
-Second row
-take a gander at around 1:50.
- ^^ made me almost fall out of my chair when I watched it back

It's Too Late To Apologize

lmfao.





I enjoyed our day off of school today. It was pretty outside. I spent the day watching movies with myself. I finished Milk, and watched Winter Passing and Silence of The Lambs. I am currently enjoying The Wrestler.
I don't want a delayed opening tomorrow. I'd rather go a full day or not go at all.
Thank you oh so much snow.


[[OneRepublic-Apologize]]
-circa December 2007
-JingleBall pre-show
-no one knew who they were so everyone was talking over them
-we were walking out the door but I made everyone stop to listen.

meh.

I got a 26 on my ACT's. Out of 36. Meh.
I really really want to go see Slumdog Millionaire and Coraline but I have no one to go with. Meh.
I wish I knew what I really wanted in life. Meh.

Take me to the movies?
I'll just go alone.



[[Avril Lavigne-Girlfriend]]
-circa december 2007
-JingleBall
-Julie's sweet 16
-lmfao. enough said.

I'm Exactly Where I Supposed To Be

lol.



[[Car Underwater-Armor For Sleep]]
-10/26/07
-First time seeing Armor.
-Love them to death
-Jersey boys
-Ben Jorgensen. enough said.
-Favorite song by them.

Veggo

Yesterday:
ugh yea, too tired to post yesterday so this is for yesterday.

work was...awkward to say the least. it was also the longest four hours of my life. But hey, I learned something new. :)


[[Gabe Spreading The Message of the Cobra]]
-10/26/07
-He likes to talk. A lot. No syke.
-And pace back and forth...
-AKA pain in the butt to film.

Today:


Well, once Kimmy and I stopped freaking out, our English project ended up going decently. :) I get to do mouth to mouth on the mannequin next week. WOOOOOOOO.
So, going vegetarian for Lent is turning out to be A LOT harder than I initially anticipated. I eat a lot of crap now.
So, I got told I don't have to work tomorrow. bigsmileyface. I get to do a five letter word that I haven't be able to do in a LONG time. And, maybe, I'll go to el cine con mi mama manana instead of sunday...I want to see Slumdog Millionaire. finally.


[[Jasey Rae-All Time Low]]
-Warped Tour circa 2007
-I <3 Jasey Rae singalongs.

PS- I don't know why these are all out of chronological order...I think I didn't upload them as they happened. UGH.

Hearts Need A Beat

that takes talent :)
how come nothing really memorable is happening?
I watched part of Dodgeball and Forrest Gump today. Compelling huh?



[[So Much Love-The Rocket Summer]]
-10/26/07
-the day before my birthday :)
-we were dancing like mad before/after this song.
-very, VERY shaky camera job

Remembering Sunday, He Falls To His Knees.

Demetri Martin ftw.
<3



[[All Time Low-Remembering Sunday]]
-12/23/07
-Sweaty

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella.

I love driving down the boardwalk in asbury when it's dead. It's so peaceful. I don't understand why people are so afraid of Asbury.
I took a drive with my mom down the shoreline a bit today. We hit Asbury, Belmar, Avon by the Sea, Wall, and some other places. It was nice and soothing.
Other another note, I'm actually understanding math. :) BUT, it's the easy stuff so yea.
I'm going to go and try to bum some ice cream off my mom. I want some with oreos really bad right now.




[[All Time Low-Umbrella]]
-12/23/07
-my camera died during this song.
-freezing cold outside but blistering hot inside

Take a breath and let the rest come easy.

[[All Time Low-Dear Maria, Count Me In (Warped Tour 2007)]]Ohai Jack lurkin' the background. This is almost two years old. When no one knew who they were. I miss it. It was fun. Things were simpler.

I'll be posting a lot of old concert videos. I've been watching them all lately. These days were a lot of fun and spent with great people. Maybe I'll do one each day, oldest to newest, no matter how crappy. Look forward to it.

Killin' Tiiiiime

I like stealing fun things from people.
:)
If I had more time the editing would be better, maybe I'll redo it later...
Off to work.

ps-I don't like fake people very much.

Damn.

I missed the three month anniversary of this night.
Here's to late remembrances.

I'm Not One For Love Songs

it's been exactly three months since this night. I miss it.

These Are The Fast Times

this is the third day I've walked into my room to go to bed and it's been 11:11pm. Weird.


EDIT: I'm about to throw my phone out of my window for good. I don't want to talk to people anymore.

Being From Jersey Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

[it says #303 lol]
Being From Jersey Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry -2/17/09
I walked out of the shower today at 11:11pm and I think everything hit me. Even though the speaker was not born in New Jersey, I think he provides some great insight. I know too well that that saying is very true. Spoken from a true New Jersian, I know I have a bad mouth and never forgive and forget. I hold grudges and I am very stubborn, something rooting from my German heritage. I also don't have the greatest temper which stems from a very Irish family and also, the New Jersey way of life. We say what we mean here and don't really give a crap about the consequences. Maybe, I don't know about every one else, but I know that I, might have something to learn. Like I said, I never forgive and forget. I might forgive, but I never forget. I try to put it past me but I really can't. I hold on to everything that has happened and if that makes me a bad person, so be it. I've learned to come to terms with this and I've decided I need to speak my mind a lot more. By holing everything up inside, I can't deal properly with anything. People need to hear my side of the story more
often and not by other people's word of mouth. This means for me to become more outgoing. I'd love for this to happen but I honestly don't know if I can. Things are stressful and sometime I just want to get away from it all. Move to the mountains and just stay away from civilization for a while. Take a retreat away from the stresses of everything and just be alone. I feel as if sometimes I can't actually do what I really want to do, everything that has to be done is for a purpose, let it be, SAT's, ACT's, HSPA's, College, or just "the real world," and it kills me. People say to enjoy your childhood but when it seems to be taken away from you, how can you really? But, I have digressed away from my point. I think, this year, with everything going on, wordly and community based, it is time for a change. That seems to be the word used most often nowadays. Change. I need change, and I am finally ready to admit it I think. Maybe it won't be the change I am really looking for, but I'm hoping it can buy me some relief and a different way of thinking. Maybe this year will bring interesting events. I'm hoping for a change of life for me. Maybe, some day, I'll be able to forgive and actually forget. Maybe I will be able to say "I'm sorry" while meaning it. Maybe, that day will come soon. For my sake, I hope it comes soon.

I'm So Sick

Don't feel good.
My stomach is all twisted inside me.
I don;t really know how to put things that are going on inside my head any more.
Fuck my new year's resolutions.
I think a change is a-comin'.



why am i so goddamn fugly?

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

today has been AMAZING. except for the small part of me being in pain all day and not being able to type five simple words for a good half hour. I don't remember a lot of the beginning of today either lol I still have homework to do since im going to school tomorrow. fail. But, I do have a new best friend from whom I'm stealing some old Pokemon DVD's. Win.


<-my amazing typing skillz after i was knocked out.

I ALMOST FORGOT THIS.

lolz i did. in the midst of chattin' with Butcher and Carden I forgot I hadnt updated. lolz

well, I think this is finally starting to get started. I feel like I never finish anything I ever start. I have tons of unfinished stories and I never finish projects but I feel like this time it's different. This will get done. It'd better anyway.

Bella Luna ah ah, My Beautiful Beautiful Moon.

I had a yummy cupcake at work today because today's Valentine's Day. I dunno, this holiday is so fake. But this year, I love it. KyleBurns ftfw<3

I'm Yours.

i asked kyle to be my valentine. then i said i was willing if he was willing. we are currently discussing jason mraz because i wrote kyle a poem and he loved it.

I Want a Lady in the Street, But a Freak in the Bed.

ahh, interesting sky this morning. the wind has been really beastly. a tree branch got knocked down in pre-calc and the heater sparked. then something fell onto the roof of the lunch room. it was amazing. everything goes silent and then this kid goes, "what the FUCK just happened?!"

gooood day.
<3

I'm looking for love this time, sounding hopeful but it's making me cry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
WILLIAM EUGENE BECKETT JR











AND









CALEB TURMAN!!!!!











:D
ALYSSA IS GOING TO KILL THE GINGERS!
WE MUST JOIN FORCES AND PROTECT THIS ENDANGERED RACE!!!


oh! and:

Now we're drinking gasoline...

People make me angry. The whole thing in English today just made me ecstatic. So, some people happened to get the answers to our little quiz. Some people didn't do so well and we, as a class, got yelled at for doing poorly. Now, for the people that actually studied or took it without cheating, and did poorly, this isn't fair. Some people got the answers and got a couple wrong so how is this fair for the people that didn't cheat and did badly? They actually tried. They didn't.
This just adding to the rest of the past few weeks is making me really just want to leave. I've been just thinking a lot lately about everything. I really want to just talk a walk at night in forest. Just to clear my head. I want to go to college and get away from this childish drama. Just to see a new crowd and see new things. I think I'm just fed up with life.
<3
bye.

This Will Be Last Time

today has made me happy.
I woke up really frustrated with people, and I have no clue why, but, Kyle Burns made it all better. NBS is getting established.

Dollah Dollah Bill Ya'll

giant headache.
grammys.

It's all about the wordplay.

I've really been into Jason Mraz lately. I love his voice and his sound. It's lovely. iwanttomarryhim.


Took the ACT's today...they made me think of Shaant because one story said "cop some Z's"
I think of Shaant too much, it isn't healthy.


Watched a shit load of movies today. Came home and watched Almost Famous, Donnie Darko, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. --i still want to say Barrington High--

So yea, friend drama is, I think, past us? Ho Ho Hopefully.

have a merry Sunday.

I got some problems but we got ten dollars.

NBS bitchez.
work was amazing again today. life is starting to turn out for the better recently. jamie is hysterical<3 and joe is just amazing. i love MOST of the people who work there, most.









IDK, I saw this and it made me laugh irl.